Sex therapy for LGBTQIA+ clients in Washington, DC: What you should know

Exploring therapy is a complex process to begin with. It can be even harder for LGBTQIA+ people, who sometimes face unique obstacles in their everyday lives. This helps to explain why many people in the LGBTQIA+ community suffer from higher levels of depression and anxiety and trauma-related mental health diagnoses as compared to their cisgender and heterosexual counterparts. 

LGBTQIA+ affirming therapy, including gender affirming therapy, recognizes the compounding factors that contribute to mental health concerns among LGBTQIA+ individuals and their lived experiences. LGBTQIA+ affirming therapy is evidence-based in nature, and is proven to effectively target the unique stressors experienced by LGBTQIA+ people, leading to improved self-efficacy and empowerment skills. Further, LGBTQIA+ affirming therapy reduces shame, guilt, and social stigmas often associated with identity-related stressors among LGBTQIA+ clients. A good sex therapist celebrates and welcomes - not “tolerates” or “accepts” - diversity of sexual expression, orientations, gender identities, and relationship structures. 

At the Center for Intimacy and Relationships, our licensed clinicians specialize in trauma-informed, affirming therapy. We offer a safe and comfortable space to explore all aspects of your identity and its influence on intimacy and connection. Whether you are newly exploring your own sexual or gender identity, working to navigate love and intimacy within a queer relationship, or healing from sexual or gender-based discrimination, sex therapy can help. 

Sex therapy for LGBTQIA+ clients 

Sometimes people are looking for sex therapy from someone who understands LGBTQIA+ issues, but they don’t want to focus on that in therapy. Maybe they simply want their therapist to use correct pronouns, or avoid heteronormative language during relationship therapy. 

Other times, people seek out therapy specifically to address issues unique to the lived experience of LGBTQIA+ people. Some of these issues include: 

1. Identity and self-acceptance. Curiosity is an important part of self-discovery. Whether you wish to explore hidden aspects of yourself related to gender or sexual expression, maintaining an openness in your exploration with your therapist is key. Many LGBTQIA+ clients seek support to process internalized shame related to sex and identity, and progress towards self-acceptance. 

2. Reconnecting with your body. For LGBTQIA+ clients, body image concerns may contribute to body or gender dysphoria and make intimacy more challenging. Sex therapists may utilize somatic and mindfulness-based techniques to help you increase comfort and reconnect with pleasure. 

3. Communication challenges. Sex therapy for LGBTQIA+ relationships involves a focus on communication patterns and boundaries. For those navigating polyamory, sexual preferences, or mixed orientation relationships, couples therapy sessions can help strengthen communication and trust between partners.       

Regardless of the reason, it’s important to seek out an affirming provider who can make you feel comfortable in session.

Finding an affirming provider 

Finding an affirming provider can sometimes be the most difficult part of your therapy journey. Whether you’re seeking individual, relationship, couples or sex therapy, finding an affirming therapist who gets it can make a world of difference. Although searching “LGBTQIA+ therapist near me” can be an okay place to start, here are some helpful tips from the experts on how to best find an affirming provider in the DC area:

1. Google specific keywords. Try including some of the following keywords and phrases in your search: LGBTQIA+ affirmative care, trans affirming therapy, sex therapy for LGBTQIA+ clients, DC therapy practices, poly-affirming therapy, or narrow your search based on specific needs and wants in a therapist. For example, if you identify as lesbian and wish to find an affirming therapist in DC who identifies similarly to you, the more specific the better.

2. Look for inclusive language and imagery. Marketing materials and imagery can say a lot about a provider's values and expertise, and inclusive materials should be apparent in your search. Look for inclusive, gender neutral language throughout the website, not just one page. 

3. Don’t be afraid to request and rely on professional recommendations. In the DC area, local sex therapy practices often maintain referral lists of affirming providers. Affirming therapists utilize specialized clinical modalities and skills that not all providers specialize in. 

4. Explore targeted directories. The World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH)LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory, OutCare, GLMA: Health Professionals Advancing LGBTQ+ Equality, and the National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network are all reputable directories. The DMV is also home to a plethora of local resource networks and referral services for LGBTQIA+ clients. 

5. Double-check credentials and listed specializations. Affirming providers come from all walks of life. Based on your preferences (e.g., gender, educational background, licenses, etc.), ensure that your needs are well-reflected. Look carefully at credentials, because sometimes they can be misleading (especially around gender related therapy and care). If the provider has a certificate or training, lookup where they got it to see if this fits your values. Make sure the therapist is affiliated with reputable organizations. 

6. Interview your prospective therapist! An affirming provider will welcome a wide range of questions to assist you in determining the fit of the match. Some people seek therapists with similar identities, while others prefer not to know about their therapist’s identities at all. If this is important to you, it’s okay to state this upfront in your initial email or intro call. You can say something like “I’m looking for a provider that is queer/trans/BIPOC.” This invites the provider to share this information if they want to. If identity isn’t important to you, but skill set is, you can say something like “I’m looking for a provider who has experience working with queer, consensual non-monogamy relationships” or similar. 

Our approach

At the Center for Intimacy and Relationships, we intentionally hold space for members of the LGBTQIA+ community. We recognize the true diversity of the LGBTQIA+ experience, as well as the intersection between BIPOC identities, queer identities and other kinds of lived experience. All are welcome here, including people who are queer, bisexual, pansexual, multisexual, trans, non-binary, a-gender, gender fluid, genderqueer, intersex, asexual, gay, lesbian and those who prefer no label at all. We also understand that identity is nuanced, and that LGBTQIA+ experiences are all unique. After all, there are many letters in the acronym. In therapy, we will make room for all these experiences. 

Historically, couples therapy has been tailored to married, heterosexual, cisgender, monogamous couples. We recognize that many relationships do not fall into this narrow category, and in fact, many relationships are not couples at all. We aim to provide therapy that is inclusive, holistic, sex positive and affirming of all relationships. We also welcome people in mixed orientation relationships, where partners are different orientations (for example, one partner is heterosexual and the other partner is queer, bisexual, or asexual) and mixed gender relationships (for example, one partner is cisgender and the other partner is non-binary or trans). 

Take the next step

Many LGBTQIA+ clients have experienced the impact of non-affirming services, and we understand how challenging it can be to feel comfortable with a new therapist who understands you. Our team prioritizes accessible, evidence-based, affirmative care. We offer in-person therapy in DC and NoVA, and virtual therapy through the DMV. 

If you’re looking for trauma-informed, sex-positive therapy, reach out now. Schedule a free video introduction with one of our therapists at the Center for Intimacy and Relationships to get started.