Gottman Method Couples Therapy
in the DC Metro Area
Gottman method couples therapy can help you and your partner manage conflict, communicate better, and reconnect. The Gottman method translates decades of research into actionable steps that strengthen your relationship, with measurable results. Let us teach you how to use these tools in your everyday life.
What is the Gottman Method?
The Gottman method is backed up by more research and data than any other method of couples therapy. Put decades of data to work for you.
By following thousands of couples for years or even decades, Drs. John and Julie Gottman discovered the “ingredients” for a long-lasting, satisfying relationship. Through therapy, we can teach you how to use these skills in your relationship. We can also teach you about the common pitfalls of relationships and how to avoid them.
This method is well known and you may have heard of it on social media or in a blog. If you’d like to learn more, we recommend the Gottman blog for couples or one of their many books. Our favorite is Fight Right because it’s a quick guide to healthy conflict with plenty of real-life examples.
What makes this model unique is their approach to data collection. Rather than observing couples in therapy sessions over a limited time, as most researchers do, the Gottmans observed couples both in and outside of therapy settings over several years. They even set up a “love lab” in Seattle to watch couples interact on daily tasks, like making dinner and unwinding the day. Then, they coded their behavior, words, and facial expressions to see if they were really connecting under the surface.
Then they followed up with these couples years later. Through this long-term, detailed data collection, they discovered what to look for and even how to predict divorce. They debunked many common myths and found a few surprises as well.
Why get Gottman method couples therapy in DC?
You can use Gottman method couples therapy to tackle anything that is causing conflict, including:
Miscommunication
Different views about money and budgeting
Mismatched desire or difficulties with sex and intimacy
Disagreements around parenting, housework, or careers
Any other issue, big or small
Couples therapy is a place to learn how to use new tools for communication and connection. We offer a personalized approach tailored to you and your partner. We can use as much or as little of the Gottman method as you’d like.
Are you ready to get started? See what therapy can do for you. Contact us now for a free initial consultation.
“We keep having the same argument over and over again.”
Who is Gottman method couples therapy for?
This method is for any couple who wants to focus on healthy conflict and reconnection.
Over the years, we’ve found that this model works best for people who are:
Concrete thinkers who appreciate step-by-step guides,
In conflict and simply want clear direction on what to do, or
Like data and research to guide them.
Gottman Method couples therapy is for any couple, no matter how long you’ve been together or what you are going through. At the Center for Intimacy and Relationships, we especially enjoy working with people who are ready for change and growth in their relationships.
Being a practice based in the DC area, we often work with successful professionals who want the most out of both their careers and their relationships. In session, our therapists will provide you with specific tools and resources that you can use right away at home. We understand that you are looking for change - and we can help you get there.
Over the years and thousands of sessions with couples, we have found that couples therapy works best with people who are ready to:
Let go of negative conflict cycles that are holding them back
Invest time and energy by attending weekly (or biweekly) therapy sessions
Examine their thoughts, experiences, and behaviors that come up in the relationship with curiosity and compassion
Are you ready to get started? If so, we’d love to connect with you. Click the button below to reach out today.
“It’s like we are roommates, not partners. I wish we could connect.”
What can you expect in Gottman method couples therapy?
This method focuses on tangible steps to create the building blocks of a healthy relationship. Your therapy journey will begin with the Gottman Relationship Check-Up. It’s a comprehensive, 337-question online assessment tool that can only be administered by a licensed mental healthcare provider. It helps your therapist see underneath the surface of your relationship, like an x-ray, to pinpoint your strengths and challenges. Note this is different from the Gottman Assessment, a much lighter version of the check-up available to the public.
After that, your therapist will help you build new skills for a healthier, happier relationship. In sessions, you’ll build a “sound relationship house” to grow friendship, manage conflict, and create shared meaning. You’ll learn about the key Gottman skills, such as building love maps, turning towards bids for connection, and avoiding the “four horsemen” during conflict (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling).
You’ll also have homework exercises, ongoing support, and a chance to practice skills in sessions with your therapist. You’ll be supported every step of the way with therapy tailored to you.
To get started, contact us for a free video consultation with one of our therapists.
Meet Your Gottman Method Therapist
Camille Espinoza LICSW, CST-S
Camille Espinoza, (she/her) specializes in couples therapy for people ages 25-45, of all orientations, genders and backgrounds. Camille is trained in several methods of couples therapy, including Gottman method couples therapy (completed Level 2), Emotionally Focused Therapy, Collaborative Couples Counseling, and EMDR. She is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Supervisor.
Alexis Logan, LICSW
Alexis Logan (she/her) enjoys working with relationships of all kinds, including polyamorous couples, mono-poly couples, and partners interested in exploring opening or closing their relationship. She warmly welcomes people of all orientations, genders and backgrounds. Alexis is trained in several methods of couples therapy, including Gottman method couples therapy (completed Level 1), Emotionally Focused Therapy (introductory course).
Devon Pu, LICSW
Devon Pu (she/her) works with couples of all orientations, genders, relationship structures, and backgrounds. She is trained in Gottman Method Couples Therapy (completed Level 3), with additional training in trauma, affairs, and addiction recovery. Devon offers affirming care for all relationship structures and identities.
Why choose the Center for Intimacy and Relationships?
Choosing the right therapist is crucial for your journey toward a healthier, more fulfilling relationship. Here are some of the benefits of choosing us for Gottman method couples therapy:
1. Specialized expertise. Our therapists specialize in relationships, and intimacy (both emotional and physical). We love what we do and practice it every day. We bring a deep understanding of the nuances of couple dynamics and conflict resolution.
2. Tailored approach. Every couple is unique. We weave together the Gottman method with other models of therapy to give you the very best.
3. Safe and supportive environment. Experience a warm and non-judgmental space where both partners can express themselves freely.
4. Proven strategies for success. Using evidence-based approaches to help couples build lasting relationships.
5. Focus on long-term relationship health. Equipping you with tools that you can use beyond therapy.
6. Integration with sex therapy. By combining expertise in relationships and sex therapy, you can get more out of your therapy and don’t have to see a separate sex therapist for issues around intimacy.
7. Positive client outcomes. Most couples report significant improvements in their communication, understanding, and overall satisfaction in their relationships after therapy with us.
8. Convenient access. Offering both in-person and online couples therapy, for busy DC professionals. With offices in Farragut Square, Tysons Corner, and online, it’s easy for you to access therapy at a time and place that works for your schedule.
Contact us now for a complimentary video consultation to see if we’re a good fit for you and your partner.
Gottman Method Couples Therapy FAQs
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Both Gottman and EFT (emotionally focused therapy) are reputable, well-known, and well-researched models of couples therapy. In our professional opinion, they are equally effective and important models of couples therapy. At a very high level, EFT focuses on attachment styles and emotions, whereas Gottman focuses on changing behaviors. They go together quite well. Here at the Center for Intimacy and Relationships, we can use either or both in our sessions with you. We often weave the two together to tailor to your needs. If you have a preference, please let us know and we will do our best to accommodate you.
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A therapist with Gottman training will usually start with an assessment of your relationship, usually by observing you in session and/or with a formal Gottman assessment. The therapist is looking for clues about how you two interact. For example, when a certain topic comes up, do you look away? Do you roll your eyes at each other? Do you respond to your partner’s small bids for connection with a knowing look or a scowl? This information is key to knowing where to start. We take a strengths-based approach, which means we look for what’s working and build on that.
After that, your therapist will provide feedback about strengths and weaknesses. Together, you will begin practicing new skills in session (for example, you may be guided through a difficult conflict conversation). You may have homework in between sessions, or things to think about.
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Just like any other couples therapy, the therapist will assess, help you work on the problem, and then re-evaluate. Therapists with Gottman training will often integrate Gottman concepts into sessions as they apply to you. For example, you may learn about the Four Horsemen, the Sound Relationship House, the ATTUNE acronym, or love mapping, and how to use each of these in your relationship.
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Gottman refers to the “four horsemen” as the four things to look out for in your relationship, especially during conflict. They are:
Criticism - i.e. ”you never get it right” or “you don’t care!”
Defensiveness - i.e. “here are ten things I do right all the time”
Stonewalling (tuning out) - i.e. looking away and zoning out, in a shutdown response
Contempt - criticizing your partner while also thinking you are better than them
The four horsemen show up occasionally in every relationship, so don’t be alarmed if you see these in yours. However, the key is to not let them sink in and take over your communication style. Like weeds, they are best plucked out early and often. Luckily, there are things you can do instead for each of the horsemen. With practice, healthy communication is possible, and the horsemen will show up less often.
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The Gottman test refers to an assessment you and your partner can take to identify your relationship’s strengths and challenges. The Gottman Relationship Check-up looks for all the things the Gottman’s have identified as important for a healthy relationship. This thorough, online assessment that you can take from any device can only be administered by a licensed professional. Your therapist will receive a detailed report on the findings, and go over it with you together in session.
If you are interested in the Gottman Relationship Check-up, please ask your therapist about it anytime. While it’s best to try it at the beginning of therapy, you can take it anytime. Some couples choose to take it once at the start of therapy and then later on to gauge progress. Note this is different from the Gottman Assessment, which is a lighter version of the check-up available to the public.
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Gottman therapy costs the same as any other couples therapy. We do not charge extra or a different rate for Gottman therapy. You can learn more about our costs here.
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To get started, fill out our contact form. We’ll be in touch within 48 business hours. We start all potential clients with a free 15- to 30-minute video consultation to see if we’re a good fit to work together. And we are happy to refer you to one of our trusted colleagues if it’s not a good match.