Individual therapy vs. couples therapy: which is right for you?

The term ‘therapy’ encapsulates a wide range of therapeutic styles, approaches, and theoretical underpinnings, which naturally presents folks with many options. To some, this can feel overwhelming. Determining which kind of therapist, treatment modality, and delivery approach will work best for you are big decisions. Yet, these decisions do not need to be made alone. 

At the Center for Intimacy and Relationships, we understand the complexity of your therapy journey. Therapists often specialize in particular modalities and services. While some therapists have extensive expertise in working specifically with individuals, others specialize in couples or group therapy. Here, we offer both individual and couples therapy, tailored to people looking to improve their intimate relationships. Although there are distinct differences between individual therapy and couples therapy, it’s important to note that the delivery of services may range widely for either, as therapists work to meet folks' diverse needs. 

Individual therapy at a glance

In individual therapy, your needs and progress take center stage. Individual therapy is a mode of therapy which encourages individuals to take a deep dive into their presenting treatment goals through active reflection, processing, and skill-building. Individual therapy prioritizes the development of the therapeutic relationship. The therapeutic relationship, often defined as the cornerstone of any therapy process, is essential to the overall success and efficacy of an individual’s experience in therapy.

Collaboration, mutual respect, trust, rapport, and an alignment of treatment modalities, are key components of any effective therapeutic relationship, whereby individuals can safely explore their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors alongside an experienced clinician. Regardless of a chosen therapeutic modality or approach, individual therapy comprises 1:1 structured conversations between a therapist and client. In individual therapy, clients have the opportunity to freely explore and manage a wide variety of topics for work, based on individuals’ unique needs. 

Couples therapy at a glance

In couples therapy, the focus of treatment rests within the relationship itself. It’s all about helping partners communicate better, build a secure attachment, and create a healthy relationship to support emotional and mental health. This, in turn, can help people manage symptoms of anxiety, depression, and trauma. In fact, couples therapy has been proven to help alleviate generalized anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder, and post traumatic stress disorder.

The therapeutic relationship is still a foundational component of couples therapy, although the therapist works to maintain neutrality as they assist couples in resolving conflicts or relationship challenges. The primary goal of couples therapy is to resolve dysfunctional patterns in behavior or communication, and improve the overall functioning of the relationship. 

Despite its proven benefits, common rhetoric surrounding the stigmatization of couples therapy suggests that couples therapy is only needed when a relationship is in crisis. Crisis scenarios which may warrant couples to seek therapy include infidelity and trust issues, challenges with intimacy and sex, significant life transitions, or financial stress. Couples therapy can be beneficial for already fractured relationships, but couples therapy can be equally beneficial if used as a preventative and proactive intervention for overall relationship success. Couples therapy can be a useful tool in deepening mutual understanding and connection within a couple, and additionally helps to strengthen conflict resolution and communication skill-building. 

Couples therapy is for both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships. Beyond the traditional notion of couples therapy for monogamous partnerships, at the Center for Intimacy and Relationships, couples therapy is accessible for all relationship dynamics and structures. This includes consensual non-monogamous couples, monogamish couples, polyamorous and open relationship structures, and everything in between. Within these diverse relationship dynamics, couples therapy is aimed at improving the well-being and communication patterns among all parties in a couple or relationship. 

So, which type is right for you? 

Both types of therapy have their own set of strengths, weaknesses, and benefits. Determining which type of therapy is right for you is a thoughtful and crucial question, and the answer lies within your goals for treatment and presenting challenges. In individual therapy, you are the client, whereas in couples therapy, the client is the relationship. 

Choosing individual therapy

Individual therapy maintains an exclusive focus on your own personal growth and stabilization. Common starting points for choosing individual therapy include: 

1. Mental health issues. Un-addressed mental health concerns can negatively impact any relationship, whether romantic, familial, or platonic. If you are struggling with anxiety, depression, past traumas, or substance use, individual therapy is a necessary starting point for growth and healing. 

2. Self-exploration. We can all benefit from additional support related to our body image, self-esteem, or self-worth. Self-exploration may also include the opportunity to better understand your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Research highlights the importance of understanding our own attachment styles and familial dynamics in relation to individual well-being and relationship success.   

3. Relationship uncertainty. If you are unsure of your current relationship, or if you feel unsafe with your partner(s), it may be time to talk to a professional. Additionally, it may be the case that you are ready to seek support, but your partner is not. If you find any benefit to therapy, starting therapy alone may be your answer. It’s important to note that no decision to start is finite. After beginning individual therapy, your partner(s) may decide that they are ready, at which point you can discuss transitioning to couples therapy with your therapist. 

Choosing couples therapy  

Couples therapy serves to improve the dynamics and behavioral patterns between partners in a relationship. If your focus is relational, couples therapy may be a good fit for you and your partner. Here are some common starting points for determining if couples therapy is right for you: 

1. Breakdowns in communication. Communication challenges are common within all relationships, yet knowing when to seek counseling to improve communication habits can be tricky. If you and your partner(s) frequently struggle to understand one another, and find yourselves in repeated fights with no resolution, your relationship may benefit from addressing communication issues head-on. 

2. Intimacy and connection. Fringed emotional and physical connections are also common reasons to seek couples therapy. Intimacy issues can be sexual, intellectual, spiritual, or emotional in nature. Regardless, experienced couples therapists are well-equipped to address and manage fears around intimacy and connection.  

3. Shared traumas or life transitions. Whether you and your partner(s) are navigating a new move, bringing a new life into the world, managing a shared loss, or any other major life event which may cause friction, couples therapy can help. 

4. Proactive measures. Ideally, folks will seek counseling before identified issues become crises. Couples therapy can assist in addressing “small” points of contention to avoid a relationship crisis. Couples therapy can be used for pre-marital support, or merely to maintain healthy check-ins within the couple. 

What about both? 

A combined approach of both individual therapy and couples therapy is also possible and may be recommended by your therapist, as dependent on your needs and goals for treatment. Given the aims and benefits of both, a dual approach may be most impactful. Whether you begin with individual therapy and transition to couples therapy or vice versa, or do both simultaneously, experts generally caution against the use of shared therapists (e.g. your individual therapist should be different from your couples therapist).

Individual therapy can be helpful in maintaining individual safety, well-being, and growth prior to, and during, couples therapy. Many people find it helpful to have both an individual therapist and a couples therapist.

Take the next step

Still unsure of which therapy type is right for you and your needs? Our experienced clinicians are ready to help you navigate therapy and your journey of healing and improved well-being. At the Center for Intimacy and Relationships, we provide therapy for individuals and couples alike, and welcome honest dialogue to assist you in identifying if individual therapy, couples therapy, or both are right for you. We can even offer both in-house, where you receive individual therapy from someone on the team and couples therapy from someone else on the team. Regardless of who you choose, we can coordinate your care so that you get the most out of therapy. 

If you’re in the DC area and looking for trauma-informed, sex-positive therapy, reach out now. Sessions are available in-person or online throughout the DMV. Schedule a free video introduction with one of our therapists at the Center for Intimacy and Relationships to get started.