7 top reasons clients in DC start sex therapy. That have nothing to do with sex.
Many people don’t actually know what it’s like to attend sex therapy or even what sex therapy actually is. It’s often assumed that people who go to sex therapy have a crisis in their relationship and are either not having sex or are not having good sex.
Others think we coach people on how to have sex, or which toys to use (this isn’t the case).
The truth is that sex therapy is just like any other therapy; we talk about your feelings, thoughts, and life experiences.
As you’ll learn today, sex therapy isn’t only about what happens in the bedroom.
What most people think of when they hear sex therapy
Most people know that sex therapy is talk therapy focused on physical intimacy.
Most people believe that an individual or couple comes to sex therapy when there are sexual intimacy issues or some sort of sexual dysfunction.
Some examples of these common issues include:
Lack of arousal
Pain during sex
Erectile dysfunction
Desire discrepancies
Performance anxiety
Premature ejaculations
Delayed Ejaculation
Disagreements with a partner about frequency or types of sex
These are all sexual concerns that sex therapists treat. But sex therapy is about so much more than helping people have a better sexual relationship.
Sex therapists recognize that underlying many sexual issues are individual and relationship issues that appear to have nothing to do with the person’s sex life. But in reality, they have everything to do with sex, and the relationship overall is satisfying and successful.
Sex therapy isn’t just for couples who aren’t having sex or who are in crisis. It’s for couples who want to improve their intimate relationship at every level.
Sex therapy isn’t what you think
Sex therapy is so much more than therapy that is just focused on the couple's sex life. It’s couples therapy that focuses on the relationship dynamics, in addition to sexual and emotional intimacy issues.
It focuses on helping the couple identify the underlying concerns that are interfering with the individual's or couple's ability to have a satisfying sex life.
Yes, sex therapists are experts in human sexuality and sexual health. But they also help you to work on the thought patterns and other specific issues that are getting in the way of having a satisfying relationship that includes positive, enjoyable sex.
Top reasons clients in DC start sex therapy
If sexual problems are not the only thing that clients in DC work on in their sex therapy sessions, then what else do they work on? Here are some common reasons that our clients in the DC area seek out sex therapy that don’t seem to have to do with sex directly:
Communication problems
Communication issues in a relationship can wear down the feelings of safety and connection between the couple. When the couple receives communication skills training and learns how to communicate better, even over things like everyday disagreements about who does the dishes, the relationship improves. Increasing a couple's feelings of safety and connection improves the emotional and physical intimacy between the two.
2. Body image
Many people struggle with body image and shame around their body, both the size and shape, as well as the way it works. This shame can extend to the way their body works. They might also feel shame around their emotional and sexual wants and needs. When the person learns to feel more comfortable in their body, the relationship gets better.
3. Past trauma
Negative experiences in your past, either generally or in your relationship history, can interfere with your ability to feel safe. This impacts your current relationships as well as how you interact with the world. It can interfere with your ability to connect with and trust your partner, causing relationship problems. Processing this trauma with a therapist can help you to feel more comfortable and genuinely connect with your partner.
4. Life transitions
A sex therapist can help you and your partner adjust to life transitions, like becoming a new parent, menopause, identity shifts, or career changes. They help you adjust and cope with the stress by teaching you to use relaxation techniques. They also help you navigate disagreements through communication techniques and increase emtional intimacy.
5. Imposter syndrome
The pressure to perform at work, especially in a high-pressure job, can spill into your relationships, including your partnership. It can interfere with your ability to connect genuinely and be vulnerable with them.
6. Feeling numb/disconnected
Often, when you are working hard to keep up in a culture like DC’s high-achieving work culture, it can result in your feeling depleted and barely functioning in other parts of your life. You may feel disconnected from your partner or numb from your own feelings. This makes it difficult to maintain emotional connections.
7. Questioning relationship structure or identity
Clients also come to sex therapy to explore changes in their relationship structure (i.e. to be monogamous or non-monogamous) or their sexual or gender identity. Your therapist can help you navigate possible changes in your relationship dynamics.
As you can see, there are quite a few reasons that DC residents seek out sex therapy that do not appear to be directly related to sex. This might leave you wondering if sex therapy might be able to help you and your relationship.
Can sex therapy help you?
If you are wondering if seeing a sex therapist might be able to help you and your relationship, it’s important to explore what it is you want with each other. This is something that a sex therapist can help you with.
Sex therapy can help you improve your relationship satisfaction. It can help you move forward in places where you feel stuck in your relationship. They can also help you with exploring parts of your relationship/sex life that you’re interested in exploring but don’t know how to bring up.
Sex therapy might be a good place to start.
What if only you want to go?
Sometimes in relationships, even when both of you are struggling, only one person is willing to see a therapist. This is actually pretty common.
Often, we have clients who wonder if it is worth doing if there is only one member who goes to therapy.
The changes that you make in the therapy room, even if they are in individual therapy, can make changes throughout your life, even in your relationships.
An example of this is, if you learn how to communicate better, the conversations you have with your spouse will go better.
Sex therapy in Washington, DC
If you have decided that you are ready to see a certified sex therapist to improve your relationship overall, it might be time to set up a consultation. Center for Intimacy serves clients in the DC area with sex and couples therapy.
